Well. The strep monster is back. I have to say, sickness in parent or child is probably one of the hardest things about being a parent. I can't imagine falling ill with something chronic, and this little bout of strep has me vowing to appreciate our good health. This morning the absolute last thing I wanted to do was chase little P around the house. I tried to tell him that I had an "owie" in my throat. His solution? Run up to Mom and grab a chunk of the skin on her neck. Toddlers are the best.
I always feel bad on days in which I have 1:30 classes because Mr. P has to go to school earlier and for longer because 11:30-2:30 is nap time. So, it seemed like maybe we could squeeze in some quality time at the doctor. Oh Lauren, you're so silly sometimes. Yes, take him with you to the doctor and leave the diaper bag in the car. Then expect him to sit quietly on your lap while you wait for the doctor to see you. Right. So there's that, then I get home and it finally dawns upon me that I am absolutely and utterly exhausted. I haven't slept well in about a week and the house is an utter disaster - laundry needs doing, dishes need washing, garbage needs taking out, homework needs completing...the list goes on and on.
By 11:30 I'm falling apart. I even shed a few tears because I'm so frustrated by all the things I need to do between now and 5:45 tomorrow when I pick up Sam from the airport. So I'm lying across my bed, wallowing in a world self-pity and unpreparedness (for a quiz in an hour that involves material that I haven't read) when the Lord decides it's a good time to start a conversation. Hah. And what, of all the things My Divinity might suggest right now does he choose? Which words - after promising me this season of rest and revitalization - does he impart on me? He tells His Daughter to embrace the season and do just that which seems unfathomable - He tells me to rest. I choose to resist this nonsense. I question God's state-of-mind, His vacation day policy, His goodness, and so on and so forth. Rest, My Child, He repeats, unaffected by my resistance. It isn't long - but it's long enough - before I finally understand what is being communicated. There is peace to be had in the midst of chaos and if I let Him, He will take care of the burden.
I meditated on this for a while - the ability to find rest in the least ideal of situations. I like having a scripture reference as a little bit of extra comfort when I'm having a difficult day, so I turned to Psalm 37:7-9:
7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
Sure, it's a little heavy at the end there, but it also helped me focus again on letting go of worry. Then while I was at church on Sunday, a very wise someone asked the group if they were feeling a little overwhelmed by the new semester and all that implies. And guess what? Psalm 37:7 was the verse he referenced as well. I love it when the Lord does things like that, it feels like a nice little pat on the back after a tough week.
And then, when nothing seems to be enough, there's this. This right here puts it all back into perspective again.
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