He Will Break Every Chain

As often happens, I sat down to write this blog post with one thing in mind, only to have the Lord take me in a different direction entirely. Yesterday morning as I was brewing some coffee, Pax was sitting in his highchair with his breakfast cut into neat little pieces for him and suddenly I look over to see him shaking his head and saying to himself "No, no, no, no". I chuckled to myself because I knew exactly what was about to go down. No matter how hard we try (and this really has been a group effort) to teach him to say that he's finished when he doesn't want to eat anymore instead of picking up all of his remaining food and throwing it (last night this was particularly fun - at a restaurant - with yogurt). He was trying so hard to talk himself out of throwing his food but about thirty seconds later I saw that glimmer of helplessness in his eyes as he scooped up all of his food and chunked it across the kitchen while letting out a squeal of excitement. I often have to leave the room to avoid laughing at just how naughty yet equally charming that little boy can be. The older he gets, the more and more I see myself in him. I love his fiery spirit and his inclination to do the opposite of what he's told. While he tests my patience on a more-than-daily basis, I can deeply appreciate all that his character reveals to me about our Creator. Nothing displays the grace, humor, and even mystery of the Lord more than children.

On a separate note, I've been thinking a lot about character traits because of a pretty lengthy self-assessment assignment for one of my courses. I was somewhat disheartened to find out that I am much quicker to identify my weaknesses than my strengths. While humility is certainly desirable, I think I sometimes tend to interchange that concept for "verging on self-loathing". As I open my heart to allow the Lord to replace Satan's lies with His truths, I've discovered something that I'd for whatever reason never considered before: He uses our weaknesses for His glory. It says in 2 Corinthians 12:9&10:

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

There are times in which I just can't even wrap my mind around how sweet God's love is for His children. This brings me to another truth that I so often need reminding of: He is still jealous for me. And by that token, He is still jealous for you. Say it. Say it aloud. Whenever I need affirmation or refreshment in my faith, I say this to myself. There is nothing more powerful than God's pursuit of His children.

Though there are many other things on my heart right now that I'm excited to share about, they'll have to wait for future blog posts. I'd forgotten about the balance between mothering-spirituality-relationships-studying-etc. that exists when school is in full swing.

To the promise of an abundant season,

- Lauren